Moving Forward and Re-membering

“There is actually no better power that you can tap into than that of your ancestors.”
– Rob Castenada, founder and CEO of ServiceRocket

Often in life, we do what is available to us on the menus that we are born into. These options come from what we know, and what our families have known. Yet, the roles and careers and choices don’t fit all of us in the family system. The driven musician doesn’t fit with the options of being an electrician or barber. The tech-savvy kid from a small town across the globe won’t fit in the traditional culture afforded to them by their family of origin rooted in that place. Some of us are the ones that break away from that life. We work hard at leaving those old roles behind towards something that is ours. However, doing so does not have to mean leaving others behind in the process. 

When we move forward in life by leaving our hometown, or progress in our own life beyond that of the generation that came before us professionally or personally, feelings like guilt can sometimes arise about ‘having left them behind.’ Yet what exactly are we leaving behind? And, what is it that we are bringing forward, with us? How do we stay connected to what is true for us and our heart stirrings, and stay connected to all who came before us? 

If award-winning musician Jon Batiste were speaking to this, he might say: You are your own genre. We may lean against history and traditions, what’s been done before, and where we came from, yet, we don’t have to fit our sensibilities of the world into those old frames of reference. They don’t need to confine us. We are a new frame of reference, a blend of past and present and a future that’s calling us into it. 

“If you’re a migrant, whatever you celebrated back home is erased when you go to a new place,” notes Rob Castenada, founder of ServiceRocket, in this podcast conversation with Jerry. 

Being a migrant himself, Rob knows this feeling in his bones. In his company, he instituted Cultural Heritage Day. Here, any employee picks a day of significance for them for the following year. They plan their day off, and then they share a story and photos with the team about the significance of this day. 

“It really brings you to the essence of fostering a tribe. It’s a global virtual tribe, but it’s a place where people belong,” Rob adds. “And the part that really helps is that everyone is seen. The empathy in the company rises dramatically.”

Cultural Heritage Day is a way to bring forward the connection to one’s place of origin by looping back to traditions that had meaning and significance to a place and a people. It is also an expression of celebrating differences in our workplace community. 

What do you know about your family history? How can that empower your leadership and purpose?

The ancestral math tells us that for you to be alive today from twelve previous generations, you needed over four thousand ancestors over the past four hundred years to come before you. 

Consider the span of history of your people for a moment. Where did they come from? What has happened over the past four hundred years? What did they survive? How much sadness was there? How much heartbreak? How much joy? What were the battles and difficulties, the casualties, and inner prisons? What was the hope they had for the future? If you think and feel into what you know from the range of emotions and experiences from your life to date, compound that by over four thousand relatives’ experiences. So much of that history still pulses in you, here and now.

You may be wondering: What does my family tree have to do with my company? I can tell you that we see threads of this present in many different clients. The entrepreneur whose business is going great, yet he is anxious that “it’s all going to go away.” One person’s seeming inability to find a lasting romantic relationship. The person who at her core feels alone, terrified, and sad despite a very good life full of purpose–and a business that’s doing well. Or the entrepreneur who lives out his father’s patterns without realizing it.

And yet, while the echoes of the past might be reverberating for you now, these are not necessarily your burdens to carry. By healing what’s showing up from unresolved moments in previous generations, we stop the pain, suffering, and unconscious loyalties we maintain to stay connected to those who came before us. The past that lives out in our current lives, if we catch it and course correct, relieves future generations from reliving that pattern too.

• What do you know about your family tree? 
• Who are the shoulders on which you stand? 
• What was their story, their fears, their losses, their hopes, their loves? 
• What do they want most for you?

If we can connect to our family histories in a more conscious way, sometimes the family connection can feel less of a burden and more like a resource to tap into and support you.