How the Change Process Works

Why problem-solving isn’t enough.

Let’s face it–folks don’t come to coaching when everything in life and leadership is going perfectly. Often, clients come to us when things aren’t working. Perhaps there’s nothing drastically wrong, but the client has a sense deep down that in order to face the challenges of the future, they’re going to change in some way. 

The question then becomes, “How does the change process work through coaching?” 

When there’s something we want to change about our experience, it’s common for most of us to focus on the problem we’d like to solve. However problem-solving approaches to change can be limiting for a few reasons. 

First, focusing on the problem tends to keep us stuck using the same neurological processes that got us there to begin with. Think of the famous Einstein quote: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” 

Here’s another way to think about it. As humans, moving through the world living our lives, facing problems, and figuring out ways to solve them, our brains bank pieces of code that say, in essence, “For X problem, apply Y solution.” Once we figure out a known way to solve a particular problem, our brains will often subconsciously recreate more of that particular kind of problem–because, after all, we know how to solve it! 

The unintended consequence of our problem-solving (survival) strategies is we tend to recreate the same problems over and over again. There’s a great phrase that comes from Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP): 

“The conditions we survive become the conditions upon which our future survival depends.” 

In other words, our critter brains (our deep neurological structures) don’t know how to survive without the presence of the problem. 

Getting Solution Focused

Coaching is a solution-focused approach to change. 

Problem-solving is an elimination strategy–attempting to get rid of what we don’t want, which only guarantees the removal of a particular thing. 

The coaching process is a creation or generative strategy–we can create more of what we would like, moving us toward the outcome that we want. One tool we like to use, called The Outcome Frame, starts with the simple yet profound question– “What would you like?”

Consider the metaphor using Google Maps. Google Maps has two fields that help you navigate.  One field represents where you are today–the place you no longer want to be. The other field represents where you want to go. And with those two pieces of information, Google Maps can tell you how to get anywhere in the world. The key is, you’ve got to be specific in order for the navigation to work. In other words, you can’t type into the second field that you want to go “anywhere but here.” 

Much of coaching consists of helping a client get brutally honest about current reality and incredibly clear on their desired state. We start by helping the client understand where they are today–exploring their thoughts, feelings, and somatic experience relative to the things they want to change. And then we help the client get really specific about where it is they want to go. 

Once we’re clear about how things currently stand and where the client wants to go, we can turn our attention to the steps required to get there. 

The Stages of Change

Let’s look at another model that helps illustrate how coaching-assisted change takes place. This model was originally conceived by the influential social psychologist, Kurt Lewin, and later expanded by Ed Schein, former professor at the MIT Sloan School of Management. 

The model has three stages: unfreezing, change, and refreezing. 

Stage 1: Unfreezing – This is the stage where a person becomes motivated to change. In most cases, if someone has reached out for coaching, they are already at least in the beginnings of this phase. In the “unfreezing” stage, the coach and client work together to address two forms of anxiety that are often present: 

• Survival anxiety – This anxiety comes from the realization that “what got me here won’t get me there.” Unless we learn, grow, and adapt, we will be at a disadvantage. This is a helpful anxiety that can motivate us to grow.
  
• Learning anxiety – This anxiety comes from the inevitable difficulty of changing and learning new behaviors. We can feel lost, incompetent, or out of place in our old social and relational structures. This kind of anxiety causes resistance to change. We may get defensive, evasive, or externalize our challenges rather than look at our own behavior. 

The coach’s job is to help the client cultivate a healthy dose of survival anxiety (too much can be unhelpful) while reducing and managing learning anxiety.

Stage 2: Change: Moving to a New State – Much of this stage involves getting clear about what new reality/behavior the client would like to be experiencing (see Google Maps analogy above). It also involves expanding our mental models to allow for the new way of being and doing to emerge and thrive. We spend a lot of time in this stage talking about the triumvirate of thinking, feeling, and doing–three elements that all contribute to the new reality structure we’re building. And of course, taking action is crucial during this phase–trying new solutions and evaluating what works and what doesn’t. 

Stage 3: Refreezing – In this stage, the new way of being and doing becomes habitual. That means that we are expending less moment-to-moment effort to live in the new way. In this stage, we are actually working at the level of identity and self-concept, which informs and fuels our outward behaviors. We also pay even more attention in this stage to the broader relational contexts that clients operate in–their organizations, teams, and personal relationships, looking to find ways to help the change stick. 

An Ongoing Practice

Coaching isn’t a linear process–it’s not like you go through Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, and you’re done. Rather, as a client, you’ll likely be moving through several concurrent change processes at once. Some of it may feel straightforward and simple, and other aspects may feel cyclical and drawn out. Having a model of how the change process works can help you feel less lost in the process and more confident that the work you’re doing is moving you forward.