Reboot Podcast Episode Extras #26 – Moving From Fragility to Robustness – with Kelly Wendorf

The Reboot podcast showcases the heart and soul, the wins and losses, the ups and downs of startup leadership. On the show, Entrepreneurs, CEO’s, and Startup Leaders discuss with Jerry Colonna the emotional and psychological challenges they face daily as leaders.

Extras 26 // October 30, 2024

Guests

Kelly Wendorf

Kelly Wendorf

Founder of Equus, Author, & Coach

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Ali Schultz

Ali Schultz

Reboot Co-founder, Coach & Facilitator

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Episode Description

Where are your delicate and vulnerable spots that, when touched, cause a defensive reaction? In this thought-provoking episode, Ali explores the concept of fragility with Kelly Wendorf, founder of Equus and author of Flying Lead Change. Kelly, a horse-wise woman, and insightful author, unpacks how our most vulnerable spots trigger defensive reactions in both personal and professional settings. She illuminates the origins of our fragile responses, examining how shame triggers can impact our leadership and decision-making, and contrasts fragility’s “power-over” mindset with the transformative potential of robustness.

The dialogue moves beyond identifying fragile behaviors to examine practical approaches for cultivating robustness. Kelly shares insights on developing a more open, accountable, and genuinely connected way of being in the world. Drawing from her extensive experience with equine wisdom, she offers unique perspectives on authenticity and wholeness, challenging conventional notions of power and control in both personal growth and leadership contexts.

Helpful links: 

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism | The Chalice and The Blade | Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship | Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts 

Show Highlights

Memorable Quotes: 

“Fragility is a weakened state of mind and spirit that causes us to show up as a lesser version of ourselves. As we interface with the world we find ourselves defensive, guarded, incurious, unable to apologize, and easily insulted which is the state where we confuse safety and comfort. We think that our comfort is the way that we stay safe and so there’s a blurring there that happens.” – Kelly Wendorf

“We’re not we’re not wired biologically to emerge on this earth with a fragile state of mind. We’re wired to be robust. To have great confidence in the space we’re taking up on earth. That’s our natural state. So fragility is a kind of distorted phenomenon that has shown up in the human psyche in the last about six thousand years.” – Kelly Wendorf

“The only way that shame can take hold is if you believe you are separate from the perfection of creation.” – Kelly Wendorf

“Defensiveness is a really great red flag for all of us.” – Kelly Wendorf

“Fragility works to keep the person’s world view intact and doesn’t push them into the discomfort of stretching into new possibilities.” – Kelly Wendorf

“So the antidote to fragility is robustness. This is where creativity, innovation, maturity, skill, and mastery, show up. So to be robust requires that we learn to push past comfort zones and stretch into the uncomfortable.” – Kelly Wendorf